Posted in Word Therapy

Popping the Bubble

Its been three weeks. I am still in my bubble of self preservation. Facebook is something I can only take in small doses. There is talk of Russia influencing our election (no fucking DUH), Jill Stein has raised enough money to initiate a recount of the election, and the President Elect is still a giant man baby who tweets temper tantrums in the early hours of the morning. His chosen administration scares the hell out of me. And during all of this my President who will make me cry when he leaves office in January is disappointingly not taking action regarding the Dakota Access Pipeline. Even so, I know it is time to step out of the bubble and focus on what is important and what I can control.
Last week during my kids’ Thanksgiving break I cleared my head and wrote down what is important to me:
⦁ To be a good parent and wife
⦁ To do instead of just say
⦁ Never stop learning
⦁ A clean house (sense of control in a world of chaos)
The first and last I am always working on. The older I get the more I love to do the third. I lead a pretty sheltered life. I have had my share of struggles but this past month has made me realize how good I have it. And when I start to feel sad, white guilt follows. In order for that to go away (or at least subside), I must read, share, and do what I can to help those who will be most affected by this upcoming administration. I have mentioned before the organizations Planned Parenthood, The Trevor Project, and Girls Write Now. Christmas donations are being sent but I have been also reading and researching. I found this article and it has been helpful. It made me realize as an avid reader I only read books by Caucasian women and men. I read Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates earlier this year. It had a profound effect on me. It felt like Coates picked my mini self up and put me into his daily life and what he has to face as a black American male. It left me with my eyes open, slightly ashamed, and wanting to know more. I vow in the upcoming year and going forward to read more books that take me out of my white washed world.
Doing instead of saying is an obstacle in my life that is controlled by fear and it has everything to do with not wanting to fail, as cliched as it sounds. But the more I write, the less I care if it is good or not. I sound like a broken record but these are reminders that I need at least once a day. Writing is more important than ever to me.
I don’t think the world is going to end with the new President (as much as my anxiety wants me to believe that). But I know these next four years are going to be hard. Being strong for my family, taking it one day at a time, and using education and writing as my shield will (hopefully) get us through it.

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Author:

I'm Stephanie, a California girl who is moving forward and not looking back.

3 thoughts on “Popping the Bubble

  1. Love this! I’m all for your 4 important things. I try to be a good person. Actions are always more important than words. Lifelong learning is a thing and it is rad! And cleaning is therapeutic. Not just cleaning for me, but clearing out the clutter.
    ps Instead of “white guilt” I use “first world problem”, cause, you know, I’m only half white:)

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