I recently had lunch with a good friend. She mentioned that she had started writing and had gotten stuck with dialogue. Then she told me how she’s been purging her house to avoid writing (Procrastination is the devil’s playground for writers, FYI). We talked about how good ideas seem like crap after only 24 hours and how wanting to have an organized writing process doesn’t have to impede the creative flow. Talks with this friend always makes me realize how lucky I am to have her in my life not just because we get along so well but because she pushes me to be a better person and tells it like it is. And she did buy me this when I graduated from college:
I now feel ready to become the writer I can be. I am at a point with my writing where I have lots of ideas and the words are flowing. The problem is my process and the voice in my head screaming, “Your story has to be relatable! Your story has to be unique! And most of all, your story has to not suck!” I’ve realized as a person who has struggled with low self esteem her whole life, I am going to have a hell of a time finishing a story if I am constantly second guessing myself. I’m not remotely close to feeling like a good writer. So my other alternative is to accept that it will mostly suck for a while and hopefully there will be moments of good. Try to enjoy writing without the nitpicking. I know this is a common problem among writers, which makes me feel less alone.
I have found that social media, as time sucking as it can be, also inspires me. Many of my favorite authors document their process there. Ransom Riggs (Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children), Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me), Marie Lu (Legend), Leigh Bardugo (Shadow and Bone), and others show their support for one another by keeping in contact through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. These authors have all had their journey of finding their voice. Even J.K. Rowling, Queen/Goddess/High Priestess of writing has days where she doesn’t want to write. And then there is Lin-Manuel Miranda, author of the Broadway hit Hamilton. He tweets throughout the day with positive messages, interacting with his fans and friends, always grateful. I look up to all these writers and hope to be like them one day soon.
Over the past month I have written about my psychological state and what I have discovered. With that still ongoing, I want to use it for my stories. I have found the reasoning behind my behavior and what motivates me. That was a lesson in how I will write characters. I will embrace what I have been through and who I am and use it.
I feel like my blog is a place where I can just write what I am thinking and work out stuff. I hope it becomes a place where readers can relate. Writing is a passion that won’t let me go. I always feel better when I finish writing something.
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard”-Allen Ginsberg